#the episode 10 alan dean scene is perhaps the best scene in the entire show and i do not say that lightly

[chenouttachen]

oh the way episode 6 barrels full force into dean's betrayal arc is unavoidably painful. we've been seeing hints of it here and there: alan having to make the choice not to let dean race on a smaller scale, choosing to let charlie race for the x-hunter team spot was right there... but this episode sets things in motion that cannot be undone.

at the very beginning of the episode alan chooses charlie over dean, and in his (and way's) eyes this is unacceptable. he's worked so hard for so long, only to be overlooked by this new comer who's only been behind the wheel for a few weeks.

dean desperately tries to put his feelings into words when he confronts alan. he's been letting this build for so long, and it does seem unfair that charlie has been given this opportunity and dean has been overlooked again. he's coming from a very blinded, very biased place, but in his eyes he's been slighted. he's worked his ass off, and he no longer believes alan when he tells him that his time will come.

alan's not been approaching important conversations well lately, but he does a good job here. he leads with dean's skills, his strengths and leans into his love of dean as a team member. but there's a 'but'.

alan doesn't have the capacity to pull punches right now, and by comparing dean and charlie, he loses dean. dean has spent years emulating babe's work ethic, his skills, training to be the best. and now alan tells him that it's not enough. his determination, his dreams, his passion - they're not enough. he's not enough.

alan tries to real it back and give dean hope, but... he can't. he's been making these promises for so long, and he can't deliver. he wants to, he wants to support dean and help him succeed. but with everything happening, he can't. and this is the moment that dean gives up on x-hunter. not consciously, not yet. he just storms off in a mood. but it's maybe the first time that he hasn't been able to believe alan, the man who's supported his dreams for years.

when dean returns to the garage floor, he's hurting. he's taken alan's words to heart and only knows how to hurt others with them. hurt people hurt people, and that's the energy that dean will be taking into the next few episodes (and probably season 2).

alan sees what dean is thinking, sees him hurt the others, and he shuts that down quick. he wants dean to be better, wants him to want better for himself, do better for himself. unfortunately, it's not the right way to handle the situation, and if he hadn't already lost dean, this would be the nail in the coffin. to dean, this is a personal attack and it's not something he can come back from. his mentor and father figure has turned against him, doesn't think he's worthy, and that's all dean can see, regardless of whether or not it's true.

in the aftermath of it all, alan is haunted. he doesn't want to be that person, and he doesn't want dean to be that person. jeff can see what alan's feeling, has maybe seen part of what's yet to come, and he offers what little advice he can; 'if you keep interfering, you'll lose each other'. and that's exactly what happens.